Why I Hate Swimming and You Should Too!

Ok, I don’t really hate swimming, but I do hate drowning, which is precisely what I felt I did today for my workout. I bought some new swim goggles because I knew that I need to keep my eyes down toward the bottom of the pool if I’m going to start getting any kind of speed to my freestyle swim. Thus began my afternoon water-boarding session.

I previously posted a video that shows some of the most common mistakes swimmers make (Weight Loss Challenge – Day 28). All of these mistakes I have been making. This is why I thought it time to buy those dreadful goggles. They’re nothing special. They are made by Speedo and that is all I know about them except they are very very tight. I’ve always thought I had a small head, but since I’ve loosed the straps to their max, I’ve not only discovered I will die if my boat ever capsizes, but also that my head will look like a puffer fish when they find me.

My first lap was quite the slap in the face. I’d gotten somewhat used to my swim style which was I’m sure comical enough for the seasoned swimmer to watch. The constant head up form so as to never submerge the ‘ol nose. Today, I was determined to plunk my face into the water and immediately become Ryan Lochte, or at the very least, that other guy who came in second (nobody remembers him). Here’s what actually happened.

No, that video was actually too good for me. I think my outing looked more like this.

My need for air seems to be getting in the way of my ability to swim properly. I need some help with my breathing because every time I put my stupid face into the water, I feel I’m going to die, almost instantly I feel this. My anxiety levels are so high that I can’t even think about the other swimming basics I’m supposed to be working on. There is one more piece of equipment I think I need, and that is one of those nose plug things. Every time I’d go under the water I’d get water up my nose and down my throat. If I add that little thing, I anticipate I’m going to add more anxiety because I noticed today I am breathing through both my mouth and a little bit my nose.

The other annoying thing I noticed, was the goggles create a strange peripheral view that makes a crappy swimmer think there are literally people walking along the edge of the pool just watching you. That issue would go away if I could keep my dump face in the water and not up gasping for air. I’m sure the couple of other folks who were in the pool thought they might have to save my life a few times with how I gasped for air. So there’s another thing I need to work on. Stop being so self-conscious about my swimming. Everyone has to start somewhere and I’m doing better than the slob I once was who would have been sitting in front of the TV instead of swimming.

So, swimming is horrible and I hate it. I don’t like being bad at something, but I dislike quitting even more. That being said, I have to find some positives in this giant glory hole we call a swimming pool. The biggest positive of this was that I did it and didn’t quit early. The next positive was I actually clocked my fastest overall time ever. By quite a bit. So, the small amount of time I did manage to keep my melon under the water really did help my speed considerably. I also noticed I wasn’t nearly as tired physically, though I was very much more out of breath.

Here’s my plea to you, oh wise WordPress readers who cared enough to get to the end of this wordy drivel. Those of you who swim (I’ve just reduced my chances of getting a response by like 90% of my readership) how do I force myself to suck it up and plant my face in the water and not die? Thank you.


4 thoughts on “Why I Hate Swimming and You Should Too!

  1. I was introduced to swimming quite early on when my big sister pushed me into a river at the age of 4 – that sibling love, I get all teary eyed when I think back to those days, good times.

    Honestly, the best way to get accommodated to swimming is… do it like the kids (or with your kids! Take them to the pool with you!), and no, I don’t mean near death experiences like mine, but to just play in it. Float and just… have fun being weightless. Swim, dive, don’t aim for goals or a certain amount of laps. That can come later.

    My recommendation therefore is purely to just play in the pool – and once you’re absolutely 100% comfortable, can start doing those laps and aim for speed. Swimming is fun and thoroughly enjoyable once you realize that thing called gravity that is usually weighing you down, seems to disappear! In the water you’re free of all the earthly chains that bind you.

    If walking was hard and hurting your ankles, would you attempt a 100 meter sprint out of the blue? Probably not, right? I mean sure you could do it, but you’d hate every step and afterwards life itself. So why would you attempt to break speed records, if putting your face in the water is a near death experience? Doesn’t make sense, does it?

    • What a great reply. I like the recommendation of just playing in the pool with the kids. My kids love going to the pool. Unfortunately, my gym is an adults only gym so that pool is out. We do have a local YMCA which has a great pool. I think that’s a great idea.

      I was being a bit silly about how bad it was. I wasn’t going for speed records or anything, I was just hoping to figure out how to swim and breath and I managed to swim faster than I ever have which was weird because I swore I stopped a lot more than I usually do. I’ll get there, I’m a sarcastic person, but I still am a positive person. I know I’ll get this figured out and swimming will become a favorite workout for me someday. I really am unsure how to train myself how to swim with my face in the water and then breath without filling myself with water. Hopefully that will just come with time and practice.

      Thank you for the advice. I hope to try it out sometime soon.

    • I’m glad you can laugh at my plight (j/k). Granted, if I get good at swimming, I’ll have nothing to complain about, so maybe I’ll just keep flailing about. Makes for more interesting story telling on my part to talk about my near death experiences rather than “I shaves .003 of second off my personal best today” Have a great day.

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