Action Figure Facts First


Facts are facts.

An action figure, is an action figure. No matter if it’s Spider-Man or Superman.

If it’s articulated, it’s and action figure.

They aren’t colored by emotion or bias. They are indisputable. There is no alternative to a fact.

Facts explain things. What they are, how they happened. Facts are not interpretations.

Once facts are established, opinions can be formed. And while opinions matter, they don’t change the facts.

That’s why, at TechChucker’s Brain Blast, we start with the facts first.


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Action Figure Toy Review of Something! MIB TMNT & Precision Display

Quite possibly the only Action figure review of its kind. We take a high level look at what could be the Schroedinger’s Cat of action figures. Is it Leonardo? Could it be Splinter? Who is it? This MIB/MOC figure is an investment I know will pay off 10 fold in the future.

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Weight Loss Ultimatum – Day 21 | Eating Less Is Easy

That’s right, I’ve discovered the secret to eating less, and it’s so easy anybody can do it.

What’s the secret? How do I eat less?

Burn your food. Yup, it’s that easy. Just burn it all and you’ll lose your appetite really fast.

That’s what happened just 30 minutes ago for me. I was making some toast and had to flip the bread because it was a tall loaf. Shortly after pressing the lever, my almost 2 year old woke up, so I had to go get him out of his crib and change him. In that short amount of time, my wonderful toast went from perfectly toasted, to wonderfully burnt. Now, that didn’t stop me from eating said toast, but after each undelightful bite, my appetite waned until halfway through the 2nd slice, I was no longer hungry.

There you have it folks, to eat less is as easy as increasing cook times and boom, you’ll never overeat again.

You Know You’re A Nerd When…

You know you’re a huge nerd when… You send jokes to your co-workers complaining about leadership via Lync using fake PowerShell commands.

Wow! It’s getting really nerdy up in here today. 🙂

Joke of the day today.

Set-SPExpert -Identity “Leadership” -Force -ErrorAction SilentlyContinue

Wow! That’s so bad.

Book Review: Dad Is Fat

Dad Is Fat
Dad Is Fat by Jim Gaffigan

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I love Jim Gaffigan’s stand up comedy, so when my wife came home with this book from the library, I knew I had to read it. As soon as she was done, I got started.

Jim’s writing isn’t likely going to get him any literary awards, but the content is great. Being a father of 3 small children, I can relate very much to his parental musings. I can see how someone who has one or less children might not be able to relate to his parenting woes. So yes, the target audience might be somewhat limited.

Gaffigan provides a sarcastic, though realistic approach to parenting. I love that he says what so many parents fear to admit thinking about parenting small children. Sometimes, we just want to admit we’re going insane as we raise our children, and he admits it. All too often, we parents get caught up in what we think we’re supposed to be doing with or for our children.

The book was a very easy read as the chapters are extremely short. Some no more than 2-3 pages, which is my favorite kind of book. Most of all, I appreciate how down to earth the Gaffigans seem to be. Even with Jim’s celebrity status, there are still so many aspects of their lives I can relate to and I’m sure so many others can as well.

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Weight Loss Challenge – Day 87 | When in Rome?

I’ve come to the realization that our home is a veritable petri dish of all the illnesses the earth has and even some undiscovered ones too.

At least one human has been sick in our house every day since November. Our 9 month old was up until nearly 1am fighting off some crud. Finally he fell asleep and slept the remainder of the night.

I awoke this morning to the horrible feeling of… being sick (gasp!) That’s right, the little snot demon provided me with his wonderful blend of upset stomach and other various wonderfulness. So, I did what any good human would do, I went to work. I had to. Too many things needed to get done blah blah blah. It’s not that my work wouldn’t let me take the take off. They are very very flexible. It’s just, today, it feels like this sickness needs some good old fashioned ignoring.

I’m hoping to hit the steam room and sweat some of this crap out, but before that, I’m going to try a very limited workout, to see if the activity will fight this off before it becomes some out of control, in your bed for 48 hours drama between myself and a bucket.

Or, I could have just gone with the flow and let it take over. That would have been nice, to just lay in bed. Have my wife serve me warm tea with some crackers and the children will gather round the bed and console me while singing in perfect harmony “Soft Kitty” to me.

… Add delirious to the list of symptoms I guess. None of that would ever happen at my house. Staying home sick in a house of 3 kids and a wife is the least hospitable place a sick person can be.

Well, have a great Friday. Hope it’s going better than mine, though I can take solace in the fact that I get to save my PTO for something fun, like painting the upstairs of our house someday in the near future.

Oh, I should mention, the diet is going absolutely marvelously so far today. I don’t feel like eating a thing. Amazing. 🙂

Weight Loss Challenge – Day 86 | Water

I started this post this morning and got about 2/3 done… with the title and then ran out of things to say. So I saved the draft hoping to come back to it this afternoon after my workout with something to say. That sort of worked, I have something to say, though I have my doubts it’s very interesting. 🙂

Fact: Water is Important!

False: It is fun working out without water!

I took off for the gym about an hour ago ready to have the best workout of my life today, all to get there and find I forgot my water bottle. Now, I certainly could have walked the whole block away to go back to my desk and get my water bottle, but nay I say to you, that would have taken too much time. So, I went without. Of course, I still wanted to have my best workout ever.

Fact: You’re not likely going to have your best workout of your life if you forget your water bottle at your desk you Dolt!

There's my water bottle, all snug as a bug next to Mr. Coffee mug.

There’s my water bottle, all snug as a bug next to Mr. Coffee mug looking so smug, the jerk.

Ouch, that hurts, and so did my workout. Here’s the breakdown of my workout. (mind you,

there are plenty of people out there that have much more intense workouts than I do, so don’t go thinking you’re some atlantean god because your workouts are more advanced or difficult than mine. It just means you’re a dink for thinking that.

  • 30 Minutes Rowing Machine
    • 27 Minutes Alternate Medium to Hard
      • 2 Minutes – Medium (28-34 spm)
      • 1 Minute – Hard (34+ spm)
      • Repeat
    • 1 Minute – Medium (28-34 spm)
    • 2 Minutes – Hard (34+ spm)
  • 3 Sets of Cable Bicep Curls
  • 3 Sets of Cable Tricep Curls

According to my rowing machine, if I were a 150 pound man, the below number is how many calories I burned during the rowing workout. I am not a 150 pound man, but I feel no need to figure out exactly how many calories I truly did burn.

Total Calories Burned: 445

Total Distance Traveled (Virtually): 7,100 meters | 4.41 miles

I did this exact same workout on Tuesday and managed to row about 190 more meters on Tuesday and burned about 7 more calories roughly on Tuesday.

Fact: I had the best workout of my life… on Tuesday!

False: I am not allowed to gloat about it.

Lesson learned folks. Don’t forget your water bottle. When I was a youngster in my 20’s I could run 10 miles, without walking, and without a sip of water during the run. Now, just typing this post has made me thirsty. Getting older is no fun. I don’t even think I’m wiser. Bummer.

Have a great day everyone.

Why I Hate Swimming and You Should Too!

Ok, I don’t really hate swimming, but I do hate drowning, which is precisely what I felt I did today for my workout. I bought some new swim goggles because I knew that I need to keep my eyes down toward the bottom of the pool if I’m going to start getting any kind of speed to my freestyle swim. Thus began my afternoon water-boarding session.

I previously posted a video that shows some of the most common mistakes swimmers make (Weight Loss Challenge – Day 28). All of these mistakes I have been making. This is why I thought it time to buy those dreadful goggles. They’re nothing special. They are made by Speedo and that is all I know about them except they are very very tight. I’ve always thought I had a small head, but since I’ve loosed the straps to their max, I’ve not only discovered I will die if my boat ever capsizes, but also that my head will look like a puffer fish when they find me.

My first lap was quite the slap in the face. I’d gotten somewhat used to my swim style which was I’m sure comical enough for the seasoned swimmer to watch. The constant head up form so as to never submerge the ‘ol nose. Today, I was determined to plunk my face into the water and immediately become Ryan Lochte, or at the very least, that other guy who came in second (nobody remembers him). Here’s what actually happened.

No, that video was actually too good for me. I think my outing looked more like this.

My need for air seems to be getting in the way of my ability to swim properly. I need some help with my breathing because every time I put my stupid face into the water, I feel I’m going to die, almost instantly I feel this. My anxiety levels are so high that I can’t even think about the other swimming basics I’m supposed to be working on. There is one more piece of equipment I think I need, and that is one of those nose plug things. Every time I’d go under the water I’d get water up my nose and down my throat. If I add that little thing, I anticipate I’m going to add more anxiety because I noticed today I am breathing through both my mouth and a little bit my nose.

The other annoying thing I noticed, was the goggles create a strange peripheral view that makes a crappy swimmer think there are literally people walking along the edge of the pool just watching you. That issue would go away if I could keep my dump face in the water and not up gasping for air. I’m sure the couple of other folks who were in the pool thought they might have to save my life a few times with how I gasped for air. So there’s another thing I need to work on. Stop being so self-conscious about my swimming. Everyone has to start somewhere and I’m doing better than the slob I once was who would have been sitting in front of the TV instead of swimming.

So, swimming is horrible and I hate it. I don’t like being bad at something, but I dislike quitting even more. That being said, I have to find some positives in this giant glory hole we call a swimming pool. The biggest positive of this was that I did it and didn’t quit early. The next positive was I actually clocked my fastest overall time ever. By quite a bit. So, the small amount of time I did manage to keep my melon under the water really did help my speed considerably. I also noticed I wasn’t nearly as tired physically, though I was very much more out of breath.

Here’s my plea to you, oh wise WordPress readers who cared enough to get to the end of this wordy drivel. Those of you who swim (I’ve just reduced my chances of getting a response by like 90% of my readership) how do I force myself to suck it up and plant my face in the water and not die? Thank you.

10 Reasons I Will Punch You in the Throat at the Gym

I’ll be honest, I get cranky when I’m working out hard. I’ve discovered I have an extreme case of Exercise Rage. It is an epidemic just waiting to happen and I blame my mother for getting me vaccinated as a baby. I’m sure that’s what caused it. When I’m at the end of my energy reserve, this list of people is at an even greater risk of receiving a throat punch. This list is in order of hate. Enjoy.

10. The Cats Meow – Ok… I don’t hate you at all, but i hate that you flaunt your perfectly sculpted body in front of me wearing those skin tight yoga pants (Thank you to whomever made these popular). I hate that i can’t help but stare as you do the most provocative stretches 5 feet in front of me as i work on my 60th set of chest press lifts. I hate you because i can’t have you, and even worse, you do not want me. I hate that if, and when, you catch me checking you out, you will immediately think I’m the biggest perv in the world. I’m admiring your work, don’t you see that? I’ll probably get in trouble for this one. Oh well. Advice, please don’t stop. .. I love everything about you.

9. Mr. Know-It-All – You’re the guy that thinks it’s your responsibility to correct ones form in Amy exercise. If you’re not an employee, just leave me alone

8. Lifeless Loiterer – You love going to the gym; you never workout though. To you, this is social hour. You’ll interior anybody you know while they workout just to find out how their vacation was, or worse, to let me know how yours was. There’s a reason i didn’t make eye contact with you, you miserable troll. Advice: Take a hint and keep walking.

7. The Rain Forest – I feel bad for hating you, but I cannot help it. You sweat so much, it makes me want to throw up. You’re seriously leaving pools of sweat where you just were. I know, it’s not right to hate this person, but all too often, you also don’t clean up after yourself. So I don’t just hate the super sweaty guy; I hate the super sweaty guy that never wipes down the equipment when done. Seriously, you deserve to be suffocated by your own sweat rag after it sopped up your disgusting Lake Superior of sweat you just left on this bench. Advice: Go get some ShamWow towels and make yourself a new workout outfit before you come back here again.

6. Gossy Goose – Get off your phone you Troglodyte!

5. Tony Too High – Tony, I can only assume you went to school in the 60’s or 70’s, but did you have to keep those teenie tiny shorts that have that slit on the sides that even the NBC halftime show wouldn’t air? I get wanting to be comfortable, but how about the rest of us? Tony, you’re probably a runner, and a good one, but seriously, knock it off. It’s gross.

4. Grug the Caveman – You’re the fellow who grunts exceptionally loudly while doing your clean n’ jerks and while you’re lifting weights, then drops the weights making me have flashbacks to ‘Nam, and I wasn’t even born yet. I don’t hate the meat heads who stare at themselves in the mirror more than working out. Grug, I hate you because you don’t need to be that loud. When you’re that loud, you break everyone else’s concentration. You may be working out the hardest in the whole place, but do you really need to let it be known? I don’t mind grunting, or the accidental release of the weights. It’s the intentional stuff. Advice, next time you’re about to push that last 400 lb squat down to the sweet spot, picture a short little fat guy… PUNCHING YOU IN YOUR STUPID THROAT!!

3. Grandma Agnes – I love grandmas, and I’ve loved every woman named Agnes that I’ve met (One), but I call those of you ladies who douse yourself in perfume, so as to mask any potential displeasing smells you may omit while working out, that you truly cause the exact issue you’re trying to prevent. You need to realize, it’s ok to smell a little when you work out, but purposely smelling like the potpourri truck on a hot summer day is not meeting your needs.

2. Sasquatch – No, you’re not hairy, but you smell like you’ve never had a shower… EVER. You don’t believe in washing your clothes and your natural body odor smell is so repulsive it makes me literally gag. I see your strategy, you’ve got a huge personal space bubble, and clearing the cardio floor is your end game. Advice, get a hose and a match and burn those clothes and wash your disgusting self.

1. Whoo Boy/Girl – You know who you are. You’re the one who insists on whooping and hollering whenever anything is happening. I get it, you’re trying to show your enthusiasm, your energy, and help others get motivated. Problem is, you’re too loud, it startles me and makes me lose my focus. Plus, it’s so annoying. It sounds like fake energy. You sound like the moron who thought coming up with Ice-breakers at a conference would actually be fun. To me, your constant jokes to the instructor that nobody gets, or your incessant need to clap off beat to the songs, or dance in place on your bike, among many other annoying things you do, just makes me want to rip your face off, and I would, if I wasn’t so tired. Some of us don’t reciprocate well to your stupid antics. Do us all a favor and shut the F$%k up. I hate you.

Disclaimer: Please take with a grain of salt, this is not meant to be entirely serious